Most couples have really strong feelings about whether or not they'll see each other before their wedding ceremony. They've already make their decision and there isn't a thing I can say to change their minds. There is a long standing myth that it's bad luck if they see each other before their wedding ceremony. Or they want me to "capture their expression when the first see me" is often the reason. I always respect my client's wishes, but often realize that their expectations about what happens during the "first look" whether it's at the end of an aisle or in private with me capturing it are not exactly based in reality.

The reality of a wedding day is that it is stressful. You've invested a ton of time and money into one day and the pressure to have it all go off the way you want and expect it to is enormous. Guess what stress does? It shuts down emotions. Fast. So whether clients see each other for the first time on their wedding day in private or at the end of an aisle, photographically, it's often fairly muted. That expectation that your partner is going to bawl like a baby the first time they see you is mainly a Hollywood trope. Yeah, sometime there is crying, but the usual look is one of confusion and being slightly stunned.

So if the emotions don't show up in the photos that often, why the heck should you bother having a first look? Isn't that the point? Setting up a great photo op? Yes and No. The real reasons to have a First Look are two fold. One, so you aren't artificially kept apart from your partner who will center you immediately. Being kept apart for the better part of your wedding day is excruciating. It kicks up those nerves something awful. Makes you feel like you have the flu. Like 90% of people feel this way on their wedding day. "Wedding day jitters"? More like wedding day anxiety/full on panic attack. Getting past that big "ta-da" moment lets you start to relax and enjoy your day without a huge part of the pressure. And guess what? Way more couples cry all through their wedding ceremonies who did see each other beforehand than those that wait until the ceremony for their big reveal. Why? I think it's because that pressure is off. They are in the moment. They can enjoy what they are doing and saying. The performance anxiety is gone. And the tears just flow.

Another reason clients need a "first look" before their ceremony is when their wedding and reception are all in the same place. You can't ditch your guests for more than an hour before you are sorely missed. Signing a license, gathering family for photos, getting those done, getting all the wedding party photos taken (if saves almost no time doing them separately before the ceremony since all those photos need to be repeated with you together) and then the photos of the couple make this the fastest hour of your life. And you miss a GREAT opportunity to visit with your friends and family during cocktail hour where it's pretty much your only opportunity to connect with them and have a chance at real conversations.

Another reason clients opt in for a "first look" is because they want to go off site for photos and this allows for a lot more flexibility into the timeline. Another reason is that winter photos run into daylight issues and if their ceremony is around 3:30 or 4:00, it's dark by the time they are done with ceremony and family photos and that means all the rest of the photos are in the COLD darkness.

Does this mean nobody cries at the end of the aisle like I'm really, really hope happens? No, I see men cry all the time. Another myth. I have women tell me they will cry. Not true. Maybe they get it out of their systems during rehearsal, but if someone is going to cry during a wedding ceremony, it will be the men!

So I'm including not only photos of the First Look, but also what people where doing during ceremonies when they DID see each other beforehand. I will try to keep these in order so you can see the First Look and then a few images from their ceremony. It never ceases to amaze me. All these photos are from a single year. I only have "first looks" for about half the weddings I photograph. I only picked weddings that had a reaction before the wedding ceremony AND during the ceremony. Plenty of other weddings had a big reaction to one of the other.

Thanks for looking through my First Look portfolio and hope you'll check out more galleries while you're here.